Worldliness: from An Illustrated Summary of J.C. Ryle's Practical Religion

This is a chapter from J.C. Ryle's classic book Practical Religion.

WORLDLINESS

"'Come out from among them and be separate,' says the Lord." 2 Corinthians 6:17; Isaiah 52:11

Separation from the world is a Christian duty and a grand evidence of a work of grace in the heart, but is often misunderstood. I therefore invite attention to God's Word on these 4 points: 1. The world is a source of great danger to the soul, 2. What is not meant by separation from the world, 3. What is meant by separation from the world, 4. The secrets of victory over the world.

World in Holy Scripture refers to two things: God's creation and something else that is fallen and dangerous. All that God created in this material world is "very good" by God's own declaration (Genesis 1:31). The sun, moon, and stars; mountains, valleys, and plains; seas, lakes, and rivers; animal and vegetable life are full of resources and lessons that proclaim daily, "The hand that made us is divine!" World in the bad sense refers the effects of the Fall on this world's people in their ways, habits, customs, opinions, practices, aims, spirit, and tone that lead them to think more about time than eternity, more about the body than the soul, and more about what pleases themselves than what pleases God.

1. The world is a source of great danger to the soul. Let us first hear from the apostle Paul: "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind" (Romans 12:2). "We have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God" (1 Corinthians 2:12). "Christ gave Himself for us that He might deliver us from this present evil world" (Galatians 1:4). "You  He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, in which you once walked according to the course of this world" (Ephesians 2:1-2). "Demas has forsaken me, having loved this present world" (2 Timothy 4:10).

Here is what James, the half brother of our Lord, says: "Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world" (James 1:27). "Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God" (James 4:4).

The apostle John wrote the final words on this subject in the New Testament: "Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever" (1 John 2:15-17). "The world does not know us because it did not know Him" (1 John 3:1). "Every spirit that does not confess that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is not of God. And this is the spirit of the Antichrist, which ... is now already in the world. You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. They are of the world. Therefore they speak as of the world, and the world hears them" (1 John 4:3-5). "Whoever is born of God overcomes the world" (1 John 5:4). "We know that we are of God, and the whole world lies under the sway of the wicked one" (1 John 5:19).

Let us hear last from our Lord Jesus Christ: "The cares of this world choke the Word, and it becomes unfruitful" (Matthew 13:22). He said to unbelieving antagonists, "You are of this world; I am not of this world" (John 8:23). To His disciples He explained that the Father "will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever—the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him" (John 14:16-17). "If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you" (John 15:18-19). "In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world" (John 16:33). Shortly before going to the cross, Jesus prayed saying this about His people : "They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world" (John 17:16).

Those 21 texts speak for themselves that the world is an enemy to the Christian's soul. There is utter opposition between friendship with the world and friendship with Christ. Turning to matters of experience, what turns more people away from Christ than the cares, business, money, pleasures, prestige, and favor of the world? That is the great rock on which thousands of young people are continually making shipwreck. Many do not object to any doctrine of the Christian faith. They do not deliberately choose evil or openly rebel against God, but they cannot give up their idol: they must have the world, so they go down the broad way that leads to destruction (Matthew 7:13-14). To prevent that is the reason for this order from our Lord: "Come out from among them and be separate" (2 Corinthians 6:17; Isaiah 52:11).

2. What is not meant by separation from the world. You will sometimes see sincere and well-meaning Christians doing things God never intended them to do in the matter of separation from the world, yet honestly believing they are in the path of duty. Their mistakes often do great harm. They give occasion for the wicked to ridicule all religion, and supply them with an excuse for having none. God's Word cautions us that some zeal for God is, from His perspective, "not according to knowledge" (John 16:2; Romans 10:2).

A. Separation from the world does not mean Christian ought to give up all worldly callings, trades, professions, and business. The New Testament says no such thing! Luke the physician, Cornelius the Roman centurion, and Zenas the lawyer are examples to the contrary. Work is a good gift from God, established before the Fall. Since idleness is a sin, a lawful calling is a remedy against temptation. As Paul said regarding the idle, "If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat" (2 Thessalonians 3:10). The right plan is to carry our religion into our business or service, not to give it up under the specious notion that it interferes with our religion.

B. Separation from the world does not mean Christians ought to avoid interacting with unconverted people. Think about the examples of our Lord and His disciples! They did not refuse to go to a marriage feast and share meals with a wide variety of people up and down the social scale. When Paul was asked what to do about dinner invitation from unbelievers, he did not say not to go, but gave instructions on how to behave (1 Corinthians 10:27-33). It is a dangerous thing to begin judging people too closely, and settling who are converted and who are not, and what society is godly or ungodly. We are sure to make mistakes. Who wants to be cut off from many opportunities of doing good? If we carry our Master with us wherever we go, by His grace we "might save some," blessing them and ourselves in the process (1 Corinthians 9:22-23).

C. Separation from the world does not mean Christians ought to take no interest in anything except religion. To neglect science, art, literature, and politics—to know nothing about what is going on among mankind and care nothing about the government of one's country, utterly indifferent to the persons who guide its counsels and make its laws—is a neglect of duty. Paul urged us to pray for our leaders, knowing the value of good government as one of the main helps to leading "a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way" (1 Timothy 2:1-2). Paul was not ashamed to read Pagan authors and quote their words when relevant. He did not think it beneath himself to show an acquaintance with the laws, customs, and callings of the world.

D. Separation from the world does not mean Christians ought to be singular, eccentric, or peculiar in their appearance and demeanor. Anything that attracts notice in those matters is to be avoided. There is not the slightest proof that the Lord Jesus and His disciples did not dress and behave like others in their own ranks of life. One of the charges our Lord brought against the Pharisees was making their phylacteries broad and enlarging the borders of their garments "to be seen by others" (Matthew 23:5). True sanctity and sanctimoniousness are entirely different things. Those who try to show off their unworldliness by wearing conspicuously ugly clothes, speaking in an exaggerated way, or affecting an unnatural gravity of manner miss their mark altogether, and only give occasion for the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme.

E. Separation from the world does not mean Christians ought to prefer solitude. Monks, nuns, and hermits have made the mistake of assuming that holiness is to be obtained by retiring from the world. Separation of that kind is not according to the mind of Christ. He says distinctly in His prayer before His arrest, "I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one" (John 17:15). There is not a word in the Acts or the Epistles to recommend such a separation; in fact, Paul speaks twice against asceticism (Colossians 2:18, 23). True believers are always represented as mixing in the world, doing their duty in it, and glorifying God by patience, meekness, purity, and courage in their various positions, not by desertion of them. True religion and unworldliness are best seen by bravely standing our ground and showing the power of God's grace to overcome evil.

F. Separation from the world does not mean Christians ought to withdraw from churches with  unconverted people. Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself deliberately allowed Judas Iscariot to be an apostle for 3 years and gave him the Lord's Supper. He taught us in the Parable of the Wheat and the Tares that the converted and unconverted will "grow together until the harvest," which is when they will be separated with divine accuracy (Matthew 13:30). In our Lord's 7 letters to the churches in Revelation and in all of Paul's letters, we often see faults and corruptions mentioned and reproved, but we are never told they justify desertion of the assembly or neglect of the Lord's Supper. We must not look for a perfect church, a perfect congregation, and a perfect company of communicants until the Marriage Supper of the Lamb (Revelation 19:6-10). If others are unworthy church members or partakers of the Lord's Supper, the sin is theirs and not ours; we are not their judges. Seek to be content with the best and most faithful church you can actively attend.

I commend these 6 points to the calm consideration of all who wish to understand the subject of separation from the world. I have seen so much misery and unhappiness caused by these mistakes that I want to put Christians on their guard. For new or young Christians, resist the temptation to quarrel with your unconverted relatives, cut out all your old friends, and give up every act of courtesy and civility to supposedly devote yourself to the direct work of Christ. Know that there is such a thing as winning "without a word" (1 Peter 3:1). Strive to show unconverted people that your Christian principles make you cheerful, amiable, considerate of others, and ready to take an interest in things that are good and innocent. Let there be no needless separation between you and the world.

3. What is meant by separation from the world. What separation consists of is not always easy to show. On some points it is not hard to lay down particular rules; on others it is impossible to do more than state general principles for each Christian to apply intelligently to his or her own situation.

A. Separation from the world means steadily and habitually refusing to be guided by the world's standard of right and wrong. The rule of the bulk of mankind is to go with the stream, follow the fashion, and keep up with the way of the times. True Christians are never content to do that. On each issue of life they ask, What is written in the Word of God? They will maintain politely but firmly that nothing can be right that God says is wrong. They will never think lightly of sins just because they are common. Miserable arguments like, Everybody thinks so, says so, does so, or will be there count for nothing with the godly. If a Christian has to stand out from the crowd, he or she will do so rather than disobey the Bible. That is genuine Scriptural separation.

B. Separation from the world means being very careful about how one spends leisure time. Honorable occupation and lawful business are great safeguards to the soul, and the time spent upon them is comparatively the time of our least danger. The devil finds it hard to get a hearing from a busy man, woman, or child. But when the day's work is over and the time of leisure arrives, then comes the hour of temptation. If we love our souls and would not become worldly, let us mind how we spend our evenings. Tell me how a man spends his evenings, and I can generally tell what his character is.

The true Christian will do well to make it a settled rule never to waste his evenings. Whatever others may do, let him resolve always to make time for quiet, calm thought that includes Bible reading and prayer. This rule may prove hard to keep and bring charges of being unsocial and overly strict. Never mind, for it is far better than habitual late hours in company, hurried prayers, slovenly Bible reading, and a bad conscience.

C. Separation from the world means steadily and habitually determining not to be absorbed in the business of the world. Faithful Christians will strive to do their duty in whatever position they find themselves, and do it well, but they will not let their occupations get between themselves and Christ. If a believer finds his business beginning to eat up his Sundays, his Bible reading, his private prayer, and to bring clouds between him and heaven, he will say, "Stand back! There is a limit. Here you may go, but no further. I cannot sell my soul for position, fame, or gold." Like Daniel, he will make time for his communion with God, whatever the cost may be (Daniel 6). He may find that he stands almost alone. Many will laugh at him and tell him they get on well enough without being so strict. But the godly man and woman will resolutely hold the world at arm's length, whatever present loss or sacrifice it may entail. Better to be less prosperous in this world than not to prosper in soul. To stand alone in this way, to run counter to the ways of others, requires immense self-denial. But this is genuine Scriptural separation.

D. Separation from the world means abstaining from all enterprises inseparably connected with sin. This is obvious, yet does require honest discernment of our particular situations and amusements. Things like sports and viewing entertainment may or may not be innocent, but often what flows from them is not, such as drunkenness, sexual immorality, violence, and the enslaving vices of gambling and betting. These are things God will judge. In the meantime, our friends and relatives are likely to judge us for being too strict in what we avoid. If we love our souls, however, we must have nothing to do with amusements or anything else that is bound up with sin. Nothing short of this can be called genuine Scriptural separation from the world.

E. Separation from the world means being moderate in the use of lawful and innocent recreations. In a world of wear and tear, relaxation is a blessing. Body and mind alike require seasons of lighter occupation. Exercise itself is a positive necessity for the preservation of mental and bodily health. Athletic recreations and games of skill strengthen nerves, brain, digestion, lungs, and muscles, making us more fit for Christ's work. 

It is the excess of those innocent things that a true Christian must watch against if he wants to be separate from the world. He must not devote his heart, soul, mind, strength, and time to them, as many do, if he wishes to serve Christ. Healthful medicine that is good in small quantities is poison when swallowed in large doses. The use of innocent recreations is one thing; the abuse of them is another. Ask yourself questions like these: Is this interfering with my Christian faith? Does this occupy too much of my thoughts and attention? Is this having a secularizing effect on my soul? This matter requires courage, self-denial, and firmness. Such integrity will often bring on us the ridicule and contempt of people who do not know what moderation is, but instead regard serious things as trifles and trifles as serious things. But if we mean to be separate from the world, we must be sweetly firm.

F. Separation from the world means being careful in friendships and close relationships with worldly people. We will interact with many unconverted people throughout our lives. Paul pointed out the absurdity of thinking to do otherwise, saying it would require us to "go out of the world" (1 Corinthians 5:9-10). To treat these people with the utmost courtesy and kindness is a positive duty. But acquaintance is one thing, and close friendship quite another. To choose their company without good cause and cultivate intimacy with them is very dangerous to the believer's soul. Scripture warns plainly, "He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed" (Proverbs 13:20). "Do not be deceived: Bad company ruins good morals" (1 Corinthians 15:33).

If a Christian chooses for his friends those who either do not care for their souls, the Bible, God, Christ, and holiness or regard them of secondary importance, how can he live consistently for Christ and grow spiritually? He will soon find that their ways are not his ways, nor their thoughts his thoughts, nor their tastes his tastes. A separation must take place if he is to remain faithful to Christ. Of course, such a separation will be painful, but if we have to choose between the loss of a friend and injury to our souls, there ought to be no doubt in our minds. If friends will not walk in the narrow way with us, we must not walk in the broad way to please them.

To attempt to keep up close intimacy between a converted and an unconverted person, if both are consistent with their natures, is to attempt an impossibility. That is why Christians are to marry "only in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 7:39). "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14). When a Christian marries a person who takes no serious interest in true religion, what can the results be but injury to the Christian and immense unhappiness? Health is not infectious, but disease is. As a general rule, the good go down to the level to the bad, not the inverse. If you are at all serious in separating from the world, obey the Word of God here and elsewhere.

When in doubt on any of these 6 biblical principles of separation from the world, think about this: "The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good" (Proverbs 15:3). Claim this promise from God: "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you" (Psalm 32:8). Ask yourself honestly, Do I want God to see me doing this or going there? Do I want to be found in this company or employed in this way? Make the effort to find out how the most faithful Christians have handled themselves in similar circumstances. If we do not clearly see our own way, we have good examples to follow.

4. The secrets of victory over the world. Separation from the world in the biblical sense requires a constant effort and sometimes conflict. That tempts many to shrink back with aching, dissatisfied hearts, for they have too much religion to be happy in the world, but too much of the world to be happy in their religion. Yet there are some in every age who seem to gain victory over the world. They come out decidedly from its ways and are unmistakably separate.  They are independent of its opinions and unshaken by its opposition. They move like planets in an orbit of their own, rising equally above the world's smiles and frowns. Why?

A. A right heart. The first secret of victory over the world is a right heart. By that I mean a heart renewed, changed, and sanctified by the Holy Spirit. This is a heart in which Christ dwells (John 14:23), a new creation: "the old has passed away and the new has come" (2 Corinthians 5:17). This heart has new tastes and affections. The owner of such a heart soon finds he no longer craves the things of the world and willingly gives them up. He no longer has an appetite for the company, conversation, amusements, occupations, and books he once loved; to come out from them seems natural. Great indeed is the expulsive power of a new principle! Just as the new spring buds in a bush push off the old leaves and make them quietly fall to the ground, so does the new heart of a believer invariably shed the old loves for new ones that please Christ. This is a process, but if the heart is really right, everything else will be right in time. As Jesus said metaphorically, "If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light" (Matthew 6:22). If your affections are not right, there never will be right action.

B. A lively, practical faith in unseen realities. "This is the victory that has overcome the world: our faith" (1 John 5:4). That involves looking steadily at invisible realities presented in Scripture as if they were visible, for soon enough they will be: our souls, God, Christ, heaven, hell, judgment, eternity. Cherish the abiding conviction that what we do not currently see is just as real as what we do see, but thousands of times more important! This is the victorious faith of the noble saints described in Hebrews 11. Armed with that faith, victorious Christians regard this world as a shadow compared to the world to come, caring little for its praise, blame, enmity, or rewards (2 Corinthians 4:16-18). If you want to come out from the world and be separate, but shrink back for fear of what you see, do this: pray and strive to have faith in unseen realities. Jesus said encouragingly to a struggling man, "All things are possible for one who believes" (Mark 9:23).

C. The habit of boldly confessing Christ on all proper occasions. To be clear, I want no one to blow a trumpet and thrust his religion on others at all seasons, but I encourage all who strive to come out from the world to show their colors: to speak and act as those who are not ashamed to represent Christ (Colossians 4:3-6). A steady, quiet assertion of our principles as Christians, an habitual readiness to let others see we are guided by other rules than they are and do not mean to swerve from them, and a calm, firm, courteous maintenance of our standards among all types of people will produce in us a settled, separate character. It will be hard at first, but gets easier with practice. Christ is eager to build good habits in us. Once our characters are known, we shall be saved much trouble. People will know what to expect from us. He who shows his colors boldly from the first and is never ashamed to let others see whose he is and whom he serves will soon find he has overcome the world, and is apt to be let alone. Bold confession is a long step towards victory.

Now that the danger of the world ruining the soul, the nature of true separation from the world, and the secrets of victory over the world have been presented to you, I conclude with words of application for your personal benefit. My first word is a question: Are you overcoming the world or are you overcome by it? Do you know what it is to come out from the world and be separate, or are you yet entangled by it and conformed to it? If you know nothing of such separation, I warn you with concern that your soul is in danger. This world is passing away, and those who cling to it will pass away with it to everlasting ruin. Awake to know your peril before it is too late! The time is short. The end of all things is at hand. The shadows are lengthening and the sun is going down.

My second word is a counsel. If you want to come out from the world, but do not know how to begin, go before Christ in prayer as a penitent sinner and pour out your heart before Him. Tell Him your whole story and keep nothing back. Tell Him you are a sinner wanting to be saved from the world, the flesh, and the devil. Ask the Lord Jesus to save you, remembering that He "gave Himself for our sins that He might deliver us from this present evil world" (Galatians 1:4). He knows personally what the world is like, for He lived in it as a man for over 30 years. He as God the Son became a man for our sakes. He is able to save to the uttermost all who come to Him. Hard as it may seem to you now to come out from the world and be separate, you will find by faith that with Jesus nothing is impossible.

My third and last word is encouragement. If you have learned by experience what it is to come out from the world, take comfort and persevere. You are in the right road; you have no cause to be afraid. The everlasting hills are in sight. Your salvation is nearer that when you first believed (Romans 13:11-14). No doubt you have had many a battle, and made many a false step. You have sometimes felt ready to faint, but your Master has never left you (Matthew 28:20) and will never let you be tempted beyond what you can bear (1 Corinthians 10:13). Settle it firmly in your mind that the most decided Christians are the happiest; none have ever said at the end of their course that they had been too holy or lived too near to God.

Hear what is written in the Word of God: First, our Lord Jesus promised, "Whoever confesses Me before men, him the Son of Man also will confess before the angels of God" (Luke 12:8). He also said reassuringly, "There is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My sake and the Gospel's, who shall not receive a hundredfold now in this time—houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions—and in the age to come, eternal life" (Mark 10:29-30). Therefore, "do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise: 'For yet a little while, and He who is coming will come and will not tarry'" (Hebrews 10:35-37). These words were written for our sakes. Let us persevere to the end and never be ashamed of being separate from the world. We may be sure it brings its own reward.

Illustrated Summary of Different by Design by John MacArthur (on Men and Women)

"The fact that men and women are different by design is no surprise to those who are committed to reality or familiar with the Bible. It is a great surprise, however, to many who, over several decades, have engineered, vigorously endorsed, or passively succumbed to the social experiments that deny or attempt to alter that design." So begins this book by Pastor John MacArthur that I had the privilege of editing shortly before my first child was born. It helped me think through what I wanted to emphasize to my children about their masculinity or femininity. Some of these introductory illustrations on the relevance of the topic are a few decades old, but just as timely as ever:

An Always Timely Topic

Item: "Many scientists rely on elaborately complex and costly equipment to probe the mysteries confronting humankind. Not Melissa Hines. The UCLA behavioral scientist is hoping to solve one of life's oldest riddles with a toybox full of police cars, Lincoln Logs, and Barbie dolls....Hines and her colleagues have tried to determine the origins of gender differences by capturing on videotape the squeals of delight, furrows of concentration and myriad decisions that children from 2 1/2 to 8 make while playing. Although both sexes play with all the toys available in Hines' laboratory, her work confirms what most parents (and more than a few aunts, uncles and nursery-school teachers) already know. As a group, the boys favor sports cars, fire trucks, and Lincoln Logs, while the girls are drawn more often to dolls and kitchen toys.... During the feminist revolution of the 1970s, talk of inborn differences in the behavior of men and women was distinctly unfashionable, even taboo....Once sexism was abolished, so the argument ran, the world would become a perfectly equitable, androgynous place, aside from a few anatomical details. but biology has a funny way of confounding expectations. Rather than disappear, the evidence for innate sexual differences only began to mount....Another generation of parents discovered that, despite their best efforts to give baseballs to their daughters and sewing kits to their sons, girls still flocked to dollhouses while boys clambered into tree forts" (Time magazine cover story, "Sizing Up the Sexes," Christine Gorman, 20 January 1992).  

Item: A book on brain physiology, provocatively titled, Brain Sex: The Real Difference Between Men and Women, details the empirical evidence for innate differences between the sexes. Anne Moir acquired her interest in the topic as a student at Oxford University working for her doctorate in genetics amid the radical feminist atmosphere of the '70s. She noticed that some scientists seemed afraid of their discoveries about male/female differences, downplaying their significance over concern about political correctness. But Dr. Moir followed the mounting evidence through the years and shared her findings with reporter David Jessel. The book that emerged from their joint effort has this electrifying introduction: "Men are different from women....To maintain that they are the same in aptitude, skill or behaviour is to build a society based on a biological and scientific lie. The sexes are different because their brains are different. The brain, the chief administrative and emotional organ of life, is differently constructed in men and in women; it processes information in a different way, which results in different perceptions, priorities and behaviour....Doctors, scientists, psychologists and sociologists, working apart, have produced a body of findings which, taken together, paints a remarkably consistent picture. And the picture is one of startling sexual asymmetry....It is time to explode the social myth that men and women are virtually interchangeable, all things being equal. All things are not equal" (Dell, 1991). 

Item: Dr. Deborah Tannen, a linguist, wrote a book with one chapter out of ten on gender differences, but 90 percent of the requests she received for interviews, articles, and lectures were from people wanting to know more about communication variations between men and women. She decided she wanted to learn more so she wrote an entire book on the subject that remained on bestseller lists for years, saying, "I am joining the growing dialogue on gender and language because the risk of ignoring differences is greater than the danger of naming them. Sweeping something big under the rug doesn't make it go away; it trips you up and sends you sprawling....Pretending that women and men are the same hurts women, because the ways they are treated are based on the norms for men. It also hurts men who, with good intentions, speak to women as they would to men, and are nonplussed when their words don't work as they expected, or even spark resentment and anger....If we recognize and understand the differences between us, we can take them into account, adjust to, and learn from each others' styles" (Ballantine, 1991).

Item: One young single mother wrote a book asserting that the feminist movement has, first of all, failed women and children—with men not far behind. She points out that "riffling through the pages of your daughters' school books, what you won't see...is a single image celebrating the work women do as wives and mothers. That information...is carefully and systematically expunged from the official cultural record. Sexual equality is our culture's rationale for denying the existence of specifically female contributions, an excuse for withdrawing social approval and protection when women refuse to behave just like men.... When a culture begins to promote false conceptions of sex, gender, and family, the reverberations are felt immediately, penetrating deep into the least public and most intimate realms of our daily lives" (Maggie Gallagher, Enemies of Eros [Chicago: Bonus, 1989]). An article in The Atlantic Monthly described those reverberations in chilling detail. Its conclusion? That "over the past two and a half decades Americans have been conducting what is tantamount to a vast natural experiment in family life....This is the first generation in the nation's history to do worse psychologically, socially, and economically than its parents" (Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, "Dan Quayle Was Right" [April 1993]).

What Does the Bible Say About Men and Women?

That is the crucial question John MacArthur answers in Different by Design, later retitled, Divine Design (order information is at the end of this post). He explains simply and directly the key biblical passages describing what it means to be a man or woman from God's perspective, and the grand design and fulfillment that await those who embrace the truth. Any examination of the role of men and women in God's design must begin with Genesis 1-3.

In the Beginning

Genesis 1:27-28 states, "God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. And God blessed them; and God said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.'" Notice that God created both man and woman in His image (that is, possessing intellect, emotions, and will) to serve as co-regents over the earth and its creatures.

Genesis 2:7 describes the creation of man in greater detail: "The Lord God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being." After placing man in the Garden of Eden, commanding him to cultivate it and not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him" (2:18). So He created Eve to assist Adam in ruling an undefiled world: "The Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh at that place. And the Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man" (2:21-22). Upon meeting his wife, awestruck Adam declared, "This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man" (2:23). Since man was created first, he was given headship over his wife and creation. The fact that Adam named Eve manifested his authority over her—from ancient times naming has been a privilege bestowed on those with authority—but their original relationship was so pure and perfect that his headship over her was a manifestation of his consuming love for her, and her submission to him a manifestation of her consuming love for him. Each lived for the other in perfect fulfillment of their created purpose under God's perfect provision and care.

But something terrible happened to God's beautiful design. Genesis 3 describes the first sin on earth. Bypassing the leadership of the man, the fallen angel Satan, in the form of a serpent, went after the woman. He succeeded in enticing her to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. She in turn persuaded Adam to commit the same sin. Eve sinned not only in disobeying God's specific command but also in acting independently of her husband by failing to consult him about the serpent's temptation. Adam sinned not only by disobeying God's command but also by succumbing to Eve's usurpation of his leadership, thus failing to exercise his God-given authority. Both the man and the woman twisted God's plan for their relationship, reversing their roles, and brought into the world death, pain in childbearing, strenuous work, and strife between the sexes—between men and women in general.

The Redeemer Will Crush the Serpent

With this Fall of mankind came the distortion of woman's proper submissiveness and of man's proper authority. Women have a sinful inclination to usurp their man's authority and men have a sinful inclination to put women under their feet. The unredeemed nature of both men and women is self-preoccupied and self serving, characteristics that can only destroy rather than support harmonious relationships. But in Genesis 3 God also tells of a Redeemer to come who will reverse the cursed effects of the Fall. That Redeemer is the Lord Jesus Christ.

The Redeemer to the Rescue
 

The New Testament declares that "Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ" (1 Corinthians 11:3). If Christ, the Son of God or God the Son, had not submitted to the will of God the Father, redemption for mankind would have been impossible, and we would be lost forever. If individuals do not submit to Christ as Savior and Lord, they will be doomed for rejecting God's gracious provision. And if a wife does not submit to her husband, the family and society as a whole will be harmed. Whether on a divine or human scale, submission and authority are indispensable elements in God's order and design. Notice the word imbedded in Authority: let it remind you that God is the Author of all creation so He naturally has the Author or Sovereign's right to determine how His creation best operates.

Before instructing believers in Christ on how authority and submission should characterize their specific relationships, the Apostle Paul emphasizes the general attitude: "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" (Ephesians 5:21). That translates a military term meaning "to arrange" or "rank under." The Apostle Peter says similarly, "Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every human institution" (1 Peter 2:13). A nation cannot function without rulers, soldiers, police and others in leadership. That's not to say they're inherently superior to other citizens, but leaders are necessary for maintaining law and order to prevent the nation from falling into a state of anarchy. In the home, the smallest unit of human society, the same principle applies. Even a small household cannot function if each member fully demands and expresses his or her own will. The system of authority God has ordained for the family is the headship of husbands over wives and of parents over children.

Relationships Set Right

Here's the divine mandate: "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the Church, His Body, and is Himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her,  that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word,  so that He might present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.  In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,  because we are members of His Body.  'Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.'  This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the Church.  However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
 
"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  'Honor your father and mother' (this is the first Commandment with a promise),  'that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.'  Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord" (Ephesians 5:22—6:4).

The majority of this crucial text addresses husbands, who are to treat their wives as equals, willingly fulfilling their God-given responsibilities of caring, protecting, and providing for them. Likewise wives fulfill their God-given responsibility when they submit willingly to their own husbands. That reflects not only the depth of intimacy and vitality in their relationship, but also the sense of ownership a wife has for her husband. As Paul says elsewhere, "Let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does" (1 Corinthians 7:2-4). The reason a wife is to submit to her husband is "the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the Church" (Ephesians 5:23). The head gives the orders, the body doesn't. When a physical body responds appropriately to the mind, it is well coordinated. A wife who responds willingly and lovingly honors God, her husband, her family, her church, and herself. Additionally, she becomes a beautiful testimony of the Lord before the watching world.


The wife's submission requires intelligent participation for her to be the ideal complement and helper to her mate. One godly wife, reflecting on her favorite biblical example of submission, wrote this: "The virgin Mary's answer hold no hesitation about risks or losses or the interruption of her own plans. It is an utter and unconditional self-giving: 'I am the Lord's servant....May it be to me as you have said' (Luke 1:38). This is what I understand to be the essence of femininity. It means surrender. Think of a bride. She surrenders her independence, her name, her destiny, her will, herself to the bridegroom in marriage....The gentle and quiet spirit of which Peter speaks, calling it 'of great worth in God's sight' (1 Peter 3:4), is the true femininity, which found its epitome in Mary" (Elisabeth Elliot, "The Essence of Femininity" in Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, edited by John Piper [Crossway, 1991]).

The Lord's pattern of love for His Church is the husband's pattern of love for his wife: a Sacrificial, Purifying, Caring, and Unbreakable Love. Love is a choice we make; it is an act of our will as well as our heart. Husbands, when you put your own likes, desires, opinions, preferences, and welfare aside to please your wife and meet her needs, then you are truly dying to self to live for your wife in a Christlike manner.


Christ loved the church sacrificially with this goal in mind: "That He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word,  so that He might present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish" (Ephesians 5:26-27). That is a purifying love, teaching us this basic truth: When you love someone, that person's purity is your goal. You can't love a person and at the same time want to defile him or her.

Similarly, when your body has needs, you meet them. Your wife also has needs, and you're to care for them just as diligently. When she needs strength, give her strength. When she needs encouragement, give her that. Whatever she needs, you are obligated to supply as best you can. Don't forget: You're her divinely ordained provider and protector, but should that responsibility ever overwhelm you, recall that God is your Provider and Protector. He will help you do all that He requires.

"A man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh," says Paul in Ephesians 5, quoting Genesis 2 as an echo of Jesus, who concluded the matter by saying, "Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate" or divorce (Matthew 19:6). God's ideal for marriage is that it be indivisible. As Christ is one with His church, husbands are one with their wives. Your marriage is either a symbol or a denial of Christ and His Church.

Home Is Where the Heart Is
 

A special ministry of mature women in the Church  is to "encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the Word of God will not be dishonored" (Titus 2:4-5). God has designed women with a need for the protection that a godly husband and home provides. He ordains men to take the lead in providing a haven for their wives, who in turn  provide a haven for their husbands and children, and a place of hospitality for others.

No other passage of Scripture gives us the model of the worker at home better than Proverbs 31. Here we see a dynamic, intelligent woman hard at work:
 10 An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.
 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.
 12 She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.
 13 She looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight.
 14 She is like merchant ships; she brings her food from afar.
 15 She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household and portions to her maidens.
 16 She considers a field and buys it; from her earnings she plants a vineyard.
 17 She girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong.
 18 She senses that her gain is good; her lamp does not go out at night.
 19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hands grasp the spindle.
 20 She extends her hand to the poor, and she stretches out her hands to the needy.
 21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
 22 She makes coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.
 23 Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.
 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies belts to the tradesmen.
 25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future.
 26 She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
 27 She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.
 28 Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
 29 "Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all."
 30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
 31 Give her the product of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.

A godly homemaker serves as an economist, administrator, and business manager to analyze available products, exercise wisdom and foresight to make intelligent purchases, and assign tasks to her household labor force. At the same time she happily fulfills her responsibilities as a wife to her husband and provides tender, loving care to all her children and the needy. This noble work is not emphasized or appreciated to the degree it should be, but that will turn around when single and married men and women embrace instead of chafe against God's ideal of young women being "workers at home," joyfully making whatever sacrifices are necessary at the appropriate time in their lives, and encouraging others to do the same.

Men and Women in the Church

Scripture is timeless, thus it is contemporary. Just as God Himself never changes, neither does His Word. It is as active and living today as it was 2,000 years ago. As we move through these  instructions in 1 Timothy 2 to men and women in the Church, notice how they are a means of great blessing and not a declaration of second-class status:

 8 I want the men in every place to pray, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and dissension.
 9 Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments,
 10 but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness.
 11 A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness.
 12 But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet.
 13 For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve.
 14 And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression.
 15 But women will be preserved through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity with self-restraint.

Jesus Commends the Learner

God intends for wise, elder men to lead when the Church meets for corporate worship. The prayers of those men will be effective when they are characterized by holy lives. Women who have committed themselves to pursuing godliness demonstrate that not only by sensitive choices regarding their appearance, but also by their kind, righteous deeds. They are not to be the public teachers when the Church assembles (yet that doesn't forbid them from teaching in other appropriate circumstances), but women are to be avid learners. When two sisters named Mary and Martha invited Jesus into their home, Mary "sat at Jesus' feet and heard His Word. But Martha was distracted with much serving so she said, 'Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.' But Jesus said to her, 'Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her'" (Luke 10:39-42).

A woman's subordinate role did not result after the Fall as a cultural, chauvinistic corruption of God's perfect design. Rather, God established her role as part of His original creation, making woman after man to be his suitable companion and helper. By nature Eve was not suited to assume the position of ultimate responsibility. Even though a woman bears the stigma of being the initial instrument who led the human race into sin, women may be preserved or freed from that stigma by raising a generation of godly children. This passage of Scripture is speaking in general terms; God does not want all women to be married, let alone bear children, but most women will. Because mothers have a unique bond and intimacy with their children, and spend far more time with them than do fathers, they have a far greater influence in their lives and thus a unique responsibility and opportunity to lead them out of sin to godliness. The godly appearance, demeanor, and behavior commanded of believing women in the Church is motivated by the promise of deliverance from any inferior status and the joy of raising godly children.

Men and women are different by God's design, and the ultimate purpose for that design displays the beauty and order in inherent in God's creation. To do anything less than maintain His order is to bring reproach on His name. May we who love Christ be "blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation," among whom we appear as lights in the world (Philippians 2:15)!

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